The Colbert Report — Season 5

Jan 5, 2009

Stephen congratulates John King and the rest of the media on getting Obama elected.

Jan 6, 2009

Matt Miller says the government must make sure we have basic securities like health care and pensions.

Jan 7, 2009

Benicio Del Toro talks about meeting Castro to prepare for "Che."

Jan 8, 2009

Lawrence Lessig says the outdated copyright laws have turned our kids into criminals.

Jan 12, 2009

Anthony Romero believes it will be a huge mistake if Barack Obama doesn't close Guantanamo immediately.

Jan 13, 2009

Niall Ferguson explains how money is a relationship between a creditor and a debtor.

Jan 14, 2009

Barack Obama may be over-marketed, and Alan Khazei wants Americans to volunteer.

Jan 15, 2009

A look back on President Bush's relationship with the media -- Stephen wonders if tonight's the night they finally do it and Shepard Fairey's "Hope" poster belongs to everyone.

Jan 19, 2009

Frank Rich says George W. Bush delivers a message of hope for mediocrity.

Jan 20, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes Washington Post columnist and author of The N Word: Who Can Say It, Who Shouldn't, and Why, Jabari Asim.

Jan 21, 2009

Elizabeth Alexander explains to Stephen the difference between a metaphor and a lie.

Jan 22, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes Newsweek editor and author of American Lion: Andrew Jackson in the White House, Jon Meacham.

Jan 26, 2009

Obama changes Bush's policy on science, and Ed Young thinks married people should have more sex.

Jan 27, 2009

Documentary, "Man on Wire"

Jan 28, 2009

Jan 29, 2009

President and CEO, Center for American Progress

Feb 2, 2009

The government collapses in Iceland, and Stephen gets mad at Dan Zaccagnino.

Feb 3, 2009

Henry Louis Gates, Jr. says Abraham Lincoln was always against slavery, but he wasn't a fan of black people.

Feb 4, 2009

Actor, "The Pink Panther 2"

Feb 5, 2009

Stephen salutes the Boy Scouts, and Jonah Lehrer discusses the neuroscience of decision-making.

Feb 9, 2009

Stephen welcomes musical guest TV On The Radio.

Feb 10, 2009

It's tough times for the Republican Party, and Stephen gives a shout out to a former employee.

Feb 11, 2009

New York Times article, "My Genomic Self"

Feb 12, 2009

Adam Gopnik claims that faith and fear no longer rule our lives because of Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin.

Feb 23, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the chief scientific advisor for chemistry.com, anthropology professor and author of Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type, Helen Fisher.

Feb 24, 2009

Cliff Sloan believes that Marbury v. Madison is significant because it established the rule of law.

Feb 25, 2009

Mayor John Fetterman believes Braddock, PA is a great place to spend some of the stimulus money.

Feb 26, 2009

Stephen wants to know how Kris Kristofferson can be a country musician and a liberal at the same time.

Mar 2, 2009

Late at night, who does David Byrne fear David Byrne is?

Mar 3, 2009

President Obama taxes the rich to pay for universal health care, and South Carolina may finally end gun prostitution.

Mar 4, 2009

Carl Wilson tries to understand the popularity of Celine Dion in "Let's Talk About Love" and will NASA name part of the space station after Stephen if he changes his name to Stephen Urine Filtration System?

Mar 5, 2009

Steven Johnson talks about Joseph Priestley, the man who first realized that plants actually create the oxygen we breathe.

Mar 9, 2009

Lisa Hannigan sewed the cover, liner notes and lyrics of her album "Sea Sew."

Mar 10, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes microbiologist and member of the Joint BioEnergy Institute, Dr. Jay Keasling. Also Stephen talks with NASA's associate administrator for space operations Bill Gerstenmaier about the Kepler Probe and other space exploration.

Mar 11, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes Newsweek correspondent and author of 'The Thirteen American Arguments: Enduring Debates that Define and Inspire Our Country', Howard Fineman.

Mar 12, 2009

Peter Singer urges Stephen to give money to poor people rather than enjoying it himself.

Mar 16, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the author of 'The Graveyard Book'.

Mar 17, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the author of 'The Lost City of Z: A Tale of Deadly Obsession in the Amazon'.

Mar 18, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the author of 'Engaging the Muslim World'.

Mar 19, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the president of Choose Responsibility.

Mar 30, 2009

The guest tonight is Derrick Pitts, Chief Astronomer at The Franklin Institute.

Mar 31, 2009

David Plotz, Author of 'Good Book LP' talks to Stephen tonight.

Apr 1, 2009

Author of "Dead Aid", Dambisa Moyo is the guest on tonight's show.

Apr 2, 2009

One of the co-founders of Twitter is the guest for tonight's show.

Apr 6, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the co-author of Banquo's Ghosts, Rich Lowry.

Apr 7, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes Jordan's Queen Noor.

Apr 8, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the editor at large for the San Francisco Chronicle, Phil Bronstein.

Apr 9, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes Bible expert and author of Jesus, Interrupted: Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible (And Why We Don't Know About Them), Bart Ehrman.

Apr 14, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes psychotherapist and author of Bodies, Susie Orbach. Also, Stephen talks with NASA's Deputy Chief, Astronaut Office at the Johnson Space Center, Sunita Williams about the naming of the new node on the International Space Station.

Apr 15, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the anchor of PBS' NewsHour and author of Oh, Jonny, Jim Lehrer.

Apr 16, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the former head of the Office of Legal Council for both President Reagan and George Bush Sr., and author of Can a Catholic Support Him? Asking the Big Questions about Barack Obama, Doug Kmiec. Also, Stephen talks with the associate editor for opendemocracy.net, Kanishk Tharoor.

Apr 20, 2009

Sheriff Joe Arpaio denies that he focuses too much on illegal immigration.

Apr 21, 2009

Tonight Stephen talks with Duke University men's basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski.

Apr 22, 2009

Tonight Stephen talks with host of This American Life, Ira Glass.

Apr 23, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the West Africa Program Officer for Heifer International, Elizabeth Bintliff.

Apr 27, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes musical group The Decemberists.

Apr 28, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes journalist and author of 'Dumb Money: How Our Greatest Financial Minds Bankrupted the Nation', Daniel Gross. Also, Stephen talks with war correspondent Richard Engel.

Apr 29, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes former FDA commissioner and author of The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite, David Kessler.

Apr 30, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the founder and executive director of the Drug Policy Alliance, Ethan Nadlemann.

May 4, 2009

The Prescott Group needs a bailout, and J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery.

May 5, 2009

Cliff Sloan believes that Marbury v. Madison is significant because it established the rule of law and Paul Rieckhoff wants to make sure returning veterans get education, employment and health care support.

May 6, 2009

President Obama's approval numbers are at 67%, and public health expert Laurie Garrett is here to shed some light on the swine flu.

May 7, 2009

It's Bring Your Savior to Work Day, and Mitchell Joachim wants to build carbon-neutral cities.

May 11, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes actor Jeff Daniels Also, Stephen talks with the vice president of policy at Demos.org, Tamara Draut about credit cart reform.

May 12, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the producer & director of Angels & Demons, Ron Howard. Also, Stephen talks with the head of Latin American Division of the Council on Foreign Relations, Julia Sweig about Cuba.

May 13, 2009

Tonight Stephen welcomes the author of In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, Michael Pollan.

May 14, 2009

Donald Trump allows Miss California to keep her crown, the DonorsChoose competition continues, and Yusuf performs.

May 18, 2009

Meghan McCain loves the Republican Party and wants to save it from the people trying to make it more extreme.

May 19, 2009

Republicans find a way to make us love them again, and a Difference Maker stands up to the government.

May 20, 2009

Torture memo author John Yoo gets a newspaper column, and Nancy Pelosi says the CIA lied to her.

May 21, 2009

Stephen reveals most of the Indian election results, and Green Day talks about their album, "21st Century Breakdown."

Jun 1, 2009

Republicans could lose their Latino voter, and you can see Stephen's Persian Gulf destination from Sarah Palin's house.

Jun 2, 2009

The FDA challenges medical claims made by Cheerios, and Jim Moran protects kids from erectile dysfunction advertising.

Jun 3, 2009

California allows some gay couples to stay married, and Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July.

Jun 4, 2009

Wikipedia takes on the Church of Scientology, and the latest on abstinence-only education will be worth the wait.

Jun 8, 2009

General Ray Odierno steps up to the plate to be Stephen’s first guest in Iraq.

Jun 9, 2009

Stephen welcomes Sergeant Robin Balcom and Specialist Tareq Salha to his international desk of wisdom and truthiness.

Jun 10, 2009

Tom Hanks and Stephen prepare a care package, and Charles H. Jacoby Jr. picks his favorite soldier.

Jun 11, 2009

George W. Bush praises the troops, and Frank A. Grippe orders his officers to sing the Army song.

Jun 15, 2009

Stephen gives advice to the next leader of North Korea, and asks Austan Goolsbee if his arm gets tired from throwing money at problems.

Jun 16, 2009

According to polls, 120% say the Iranian election wasn't rigged, and Jim Rogers wants to reduce Duke Energy's carbon footprint.

Jun 17, 2009

Sonia Sotomayor belongs to an exclusive women's-only club, and Joshua Micah Marshall won't be doing the pointing and talking.

Jun 18, 2009

Someone finally agrees to accept Gitmo detainees, and Stephen nails poet Paul Muldoon.

Jun 22, 2009

Stephen suggests punching randomly until we find the enemy among us, and Simon Schama writes a history of the future of America.

Jun 23, 2009

David Kilcullen fights wars by taking a local approach to combat smaller guerrilla movements.

Jun 24, 2009

The Jonas Brothers don't abstain from making awesome rock, and Matthew Crawford believes in working with his hands.

Jun 25, 2009

ABC turns their network over to Barack Obama, and Jim Fouratt meets the leader of the gay shame movement.

Jun 29, 2009

Neil deGrasse Tyson tries to make science accessible to whomever wants to reach out and touch it.

Jun 30, 2009

Stephen questions whether America should embrace soccer, and Kevin Mattson thinks Jimmy Carter was underappreciated.

Jul 1, 2009

The Supreme Court takes its recess, and Nicholas Kristof discusses "It's Time to Learn From Frogs" after crossing five lanes of busy traffic.

Jul 2, 2009

Congress passes a renewable energy bill, and climber Ed Viesturs scales Stephen's ego.

Jul 13, 2009

The Sotomayor confirmation hearings begin, and New York Times columnist Paul Krugman knows a lot about money.

Jul 14, 2009

Stephen suggests looking for change in the folds of Barney Frank, and asks Leymah Gbowee where Liberia is.

Jul 15, 2009

There's bad news for people with target-shaped birthmarks, and Douglas Rushkoff lets Jews and Freemasons off the hook.

Jul 16, 2009

Stephen is emotionally dead inside, and Ed Andrews should write about teen vampires if he wants to get out of debt.

Jul 20, 2009

Geoffrey Canada can't find any area where white men are being disproportionately victimized and Bob Park doesn't understand why humans need go to space when robots can do a better job.

Jul 21, 2009

Stephen will be the mighty oak when he investigates Acorn, and Aaron Carroll believes America should have a single-payer system.

Jul 22, 2009

The truth behind the CIA's secret assassination squad is revealed, and Chris Anderson talks about a future economy where everything is free.

Jul 23, 2009

The British announce plans to cut and run, Tom Vilsack drops out of the presidential race, and Zev Chafets angles for a Christmas present.

Jul 27, 2009

A report on tasers may shock you, and Swedish band Movits! helps Stephen put his Ikea futon together

Jul 28, 2009

Arianna Huffington was born in the United States, but she cultivated an accent to give herself an air of being an ethnic minority.

Jul 29, 2009

Lance Armstrong comes in third in the Tour de France, and Kevin Baker says Obama is the new Hoover.

Jul 30, 2009

Kathryn Bigelow's war movie, "The Hurt Locker," is getting great reviews, despite not having explosions and ear-splitting sound effects.

Aug 3, 2009

President Obama finds a way to pay for health care, and General Anthony Zinni will wax Stephen's chest.

Aug 4, 2009

According to Kurt Andersen, the economic and health crises give Americans a brief chance to get things where they want them.

Aug 5, 2009

Kris Kobach wants to fight illegal immigration on the local level and reward the people willing to come to this country legally.

Aug 6, 2009

Stephen reviews the movies that are destroying America and talks to Meryl Streep about her role as Julia Child.

Aug 10, 2009

Vladimir Putin returns to the spotlight, and Stephen interviews Barbara Boxer with deaf suspicion.

Aug 11, 2009

Afghanistan prepares for Bring Your Rocket Launcher to Work Day, and Jonathan Cohn explains why America's having a health care crisis.

Aug 12, 2009

Americans speak Glenn Beck's mind at town hall meetings, and Mark Johnson spreads peace through music.

Aug 13, 2009

Glenn Beck loses his sponsors, and Mark Devlin uses giant balloons to life telescopes to the edge of space.

Aug 17, 2009

Reporters get so desperate they'll even work for a newspaper, and Bill McKibben lowers carbon dioxide levels by not exhaling when he talks.

Aug 18, 2009

Aug 19, 2009

Ang Lee captures the hope and optimism of tired, dirty kids in his movie, "Taking Woodstock."

Aug 20, 2009

The Earth's population nears 7 billion, and Chris Matthews discusses his documentary, "The Kennedy Brothers."

Sep 14, 2009

The health care debate rages on, MTV's VMAs deliver a shock, and Cory Booker admits he is the mayor of Newark.

Sep 15, 2009

Christiane Amanpour is going to make Americans care about the rest of the world with her CNN show "Amanpour."

Sep 16, 2009

Obama indoctrinates America's school children, Tucker Carlson reveals Muslims' influence on textbooks, and The Flaming Lips perform.

Sep 17, 2009

Stephen resurrects the U.S. military technique of staring at a goats and Frank Bruni talks about mastering his addiction to compulsive eating as a food critic for the New York Times.

Sep 22, 2009

The Senate votes to allow guns on trains, and Shai Agassi wants us all to drive electric cars.

Sep 23, 2009

AJ Jacobs' life experiments include following all the rules of the Bible, trying to be the most rational person alive and radical honesty.

Sep 24, 2009

The Republican Party is accused of racism, another holiday is under attack, and Ken Burns makes a documentary about national parks.

Sep 28, 2009

Sheryl WuDunn believes giving women loans and educating girls is the way to lift developing nations out of poverty.

Sep 29, 2009

An exciting new tobacco product hits the market, and Matt Latimer recalls his Bush speechwriting days.

Sep 30, 2009

Stephen has an update on his space treadmill, and he'll evolve Richard Dawkins' book into tiny shreds of paper.

Oct 1, 2009

Francis Collins informs Stephen that it's going to take time for stem cell research to give him crab claws.

Oct 5, 2009

President Obama proposes a longer school year, and Arne Duncan could only get a job as a secretary.

Oct 6, 2009

The Mountain Goats perform "Psalms 40:2" from their album, "The Life of the World to Come."

Oct 7, 2009

Doctors invent a radical new surgery, and Alison Gopnik says babies can help us understand deep philosophical questions.

Oct 8, 2009

The media attacks Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh may buy a football team, and Colin Beavan makes no environmental impact.

Oct 12, 2009

Stephen takes on Norwegians for giving Obama the Nobel Peace Prize, plays tennis with James Blake and talks zombies with Sanjay Gupta.

Oct 13, 2009

Stephen posts Twitter updates on Miley Cyrus, talks fetuses with David Javerbaum and asks Sylvia Earle why he should care about the ocean.

Oct 14, 2009

Stephen gets angry over health care reform, discusses obesity with Amy Farrell, and talks wisdom with the RZA.

Oct 15, 2009

Stephen proves that mayo is the illest condiment, asks Jerry Mitchell what a newspaper reporter is and unveils his new portrait.

Oct 26, 2009

Stephen criticizes Washington State, endorses your job application and disagrees with everything Cornel West stands for.

Oct 27, 2009

The Catholic Church reaches out to former members, and Gail Collins talks about the modern American woman.

Oct 28, 2009

Stephen finds out what broke the largest particle accelerator and preps for his interview with Brian Cox by watching "Baby Einstein" tapes.

Oct 29, 2009

Stephen talks to Rosanne Cash about torturing detainees with music and discusses "Teen Wolf" with Bill Simmons.

Nov 2, 2009

Stephen sponsors the U.S. speedskating team, analyzes Arnold Schwarzenegger's breakfast and disputes the end of the Cold War with Nicholas Thompson.

Nov 3, 2009

Stephen makes history with the U.S. Speedskating team, covers a gay couple's arrest on Mormon Church property and wants Andrew Sullivan to admit he's wrong.

Nov 4, 2009

Stephen declares Barack Obama the loser, gets dunked in water by Al Gore and asks Harold Evans if he's going to be a chimney sweep.

Nov 5, 2009

Stephen puts Canada on notice with Joey Cheek, introduces Vaxaconda and talks to William Bratton about McGruff the Crime Dog.

Nov 9, 2009

Stephen asks Mike Castle why he can't marry a chicken, helps Katherine Reutter win a gold medal, and talks art with Thomas Campbell.

Nov 10, 2009

Stephen defends Barney Frank for not recognizing marijuana, enjoys a Taser XREP ad and feeds ice cream to Maria Shriver.

Nov 11, 2009

Stephen believes bankers are God's representatives, criticizes "Sesame Street" and asks Christopher Caldwell where the Muslim pope is.

Nov 12, 2009

Stephen uses Miracle Whip money to buy mayo, claims Lou Dobbs' audience and shaves Woody Harrelson's head.

Nov 16, 2009

Stephen shows Barack Obama how to greet foreign leaders, offers to sing in Aerosmith, and discusses architecture with Paul Goldberger.

Nov 17, 2009

Stephen talks to Marc Kielburger about child labor, skateboards with Jackie Speier and asks Malcolm Gladwell to explain a New Yorker cartoon.

Nov 18, 2009

Sarah Palin has a 400-page book, "2012" takes the world by storm, and Norah Jones talks about her famous father, Indiana.

Nov 19, 2009

The Senate introduces a tax on plastic surgery, and Elvis Costello plays "Cheap Reward" with Stephen.

Nov 30, 2009

Stephen talks to Dan Esty about global warming, forces Joseph Cirincione to play "Sanction, Bomb, Marry?" and compares school to prison with Cevin Soling

Dec 1, 2009

Stephen profiles a made-up district, discusses alien Jesus with Guy Consolmagno and helps Sherman Alexie save part of white culture

Dec 2, 2009

Stephen critiques President Obama's speech, presents a device that lets him poop whenever he wants, and questions Craig Watson's innocence

Dec 3, 2009

Stephen covers Tiger Woods' car crash, tries out for the U.S. skeleton team and talks to Janet Napolitano about the color-coded threat level.

Dec 7, 2009

Bill T. Jones describes how Fela Kuti fought against the Nigerian government with his music.

Dec 8, 2009

Stephen gives Bernie Sanders a chance to address the vicious socialist rumors and discusses the best of the public with Andy Schlafly.

Dec 9, 2009

Stephen appeals to the monkey demographic, gets a visit from Krampus and calls out Goldman Sachs with Matt Taibbi.

Dec 10, 2009

Stephen details Russia's battle plan for Afghanistan, tries out for the U.S. bobsled team and puts words in Lara Logan's mouth.

Dec 14, 2009

Stephen interviews President Obama's cardboard cutout, signs Katherine Reutter's thigh and pre-censors Snoop Dogg.

Dec 15, 2009

John Slattery sells gold, Stephen relays the story of Treesus, and Alicia Keys performs her hit song.

Dec 16, 2009

Stephen encourages Tiger Woods, sees the ghost of Stephen King and remembers the wacky decade with Tom Brokaw.