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Late Show with David LettermanSeason 3

Episodes

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    E01 Show #0440

    Sep 4, 1995

    Dave grills his new announcer, making him do voiceovers throughout the show (including #1 on the top ten list).

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    E02 Show #0441

    Sep 5, 1995

    Tom Snyder wants everybody to know that he does not hold a grudge with Dave. Meanwhile, Alan Kalter continues to get used to his new surroundings.

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    E03 Show #0442

    Sep 6, 1995

    Charlton Heston plays ""Dave's Boss"" and bullies him mercilessly. Later, Kevin Pollak promotes ""The Usual Suspects.""

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    E04 Show #0443

    Sep 7, 1995

    Amongst the ""Items Included in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame:"" Stuff found in ZZ Top's beards, a guitar made of David Crosby's old liver, and Marv Albert's Rock & Roll Bloopers, with Hootie (as in Hootie and the Blowfish) getting hit on the head by a basketball. Meanwhile, in order to prepare for an Olympic diver that will be appearing later, Dave recruits Alan and an audience member to get in a tank.

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    E05 Show #0444

    Sep 8, 1995

    Wesley Snipes promotes ""Money Train,"" then strips to a dress.

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    E06 Show #0445

    Sep 11, 1995

    A day after the Emmy Awards, Dave tosses donuts into the audience with the new Donut-A-Pult. Quote Dave: ""Now it's really hard to believe we didn't win an Emmy."" Meanwhile, Biff Henderson recites a passage from the Packwood Diaries.

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    E07 Show #0446

    Sep 12, 1995

    The Donutapult returns, while Dave brings in a cabbie to write a Top Ten list.

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    E08 Show #0447

    9.0

    Sep 13, 1995

    While promoting the movie ""Showgirls,"" star Elizabeth Berkeley gives Dave a lap dance.

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    E09 Show #0448

    Sep 14, 1995

    Gerard, Rupert, and others discuss what they like about Autumn, while Rush Limbaugh introduces a mini-Donutapult.

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    E10 Show #0449

    Sep 15, 1995

    During CBS Mailbag, Cyndi Lauper sings ""Lactose Intolerant."" Later, the Donutapult makes one last appearance.

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    E11 Show #0450

    Sep 18, 1995

    Throughout the show, winners of obscure beauty pageants (including ""Miss Peanut"" and ""Miss South Carolina Tobacco"") walk across the stage and escort tonight's guests.

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    E12 Show #0451

    Sep 19, 1995

    Dick Assman is still popular in Canada; Newt Gingrich presents the Top Ten list; Thomas Haden Church promotes ""Ned & Stacey""; Dave juggles peaches.

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    E13 Show #0452

    Sep 20, 1995

    Rudy Guiliani give Dave a key to the city, then takes it back.

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    E14 Show #0453

    Sep 21, 1995

    Dave gives a three pound ham to an audience member, while ""Friends"" star Courtney Cox launches the ""Donutapult 2000.""

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    E15 Show #0454

    10.0

    Sep 22, 1995

    Eddie Jamison (the guy who said ""I Love You, Man!"" in those beer commercials) interrupts the monologue; Doc Severinsen sits in with the band; Mary Tyler Moore accuses Dave of being a brown-noser.

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    E16 Show #0455

    Sep 25, 1995

    Doc Severinsen is still sitting in; The Delaria Sisters, a group of women who hang by their hair on a pole, demonstrate their skills; Dave chats with a grade-schooler who ran off a burgler.

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    E17 Show #0456

    Sep 26, 1995

    Dave invites his neighbor Steve over for coffee; Ellen Cleghorne promotes her new sitcom.

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    E18 Show #0457

    Sep 27, 1995

    13 NYC cab drivers are invited to serve on a mock jury to determine the fate of OJ Simpson. Instead, they're serenaded by Mel Torme.

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    E19 Show #0458

    Sep 28, 1995

    1995: Uma Thurman joins Geraldo Rivera as the mock jury of cab drivers continues to deliberate, led by foreman Parminder Singh. Dave notes, ""Uma, Parminder; Parminder, Uma.""

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    E20 Show #0459

    Sep 29, 1995

    Dave introduces ""The Donutapult 2000+,"" which is so big it has to sit out on 53rd Street. Later in the show, it is converted into ""The Melonapult 2000+.""

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    E21 Show #0460

    Oct 2, 1995

    Amongst the latest ""Back-to-School Items:"" Oreo Cookies with Clearasil Pad Filling, Larry King Ex-Wife Trading Cards, and a Kate Moss Lunchbox. Later, Andy Dick promotes ""Newsradio.""

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    E22 Show #0461

    Oct 3, 1995

    The cast and crew explains why they're glad the O. J. Simpson trial is over; Julianne Moore promotes ""Safe.""

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    E23 Show #0462

    Oct 4, 1995

    Pete Fatovich, ""Creepy Dave,"" and Gerard comment on the OJ verdict, while Chazz Palminteri gives an audience member his coat.

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    E24 Show #0463

    Oct 5, 1995

    Dave's ""younger brother Carl"" sits in on violin; Dave thinks he's on a caffeine buzz.

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    E25 Show #0464

    Oct 6, 1995

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    E26 Show #0465

    Oct 16, 1995

    Dave, Cybill Shepherd, and sports legend Joe Montana throw footballs into cabs on 53rd Street. After repeated attempts, all three find their target at once. Also, Dave announces that tonight's show is in ""actual size.""

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    E27 Show #0466

    Oct 17, 1995

    Via live remote, Dave asks a customer at a nearby laundromat to take a pair of pants out of the dryer and bring them into the theater for guest Richard Simmons to wear.

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    E28 Show #0467

    Oct 18, 1995

    Marilyn Horne of the Metropolitan Opera presents the Top Ten; the Rev. Jesse Jackson discusses current events and mentions his son's run for Congress.

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    E29 Show #0468

    Oct 19, 1995

    During CBS Mailbag, Dave goes sailing with Paul, the models and Bob Denver. Later, William Shatner is beamed out of his seat.

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    E30 Show #0469

    Oct 20, 1995

    Dave goes to New Jersey to find a date for mailroom employee/superstar extrordinaire Bob Borden. Meanwhile, Paul is missing, so Dave leaves the theater and finds him chatting at a party with Woody Allen.

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    E31 Show #0470

    Oct 23, 1995

    Dave starts reading the Miranda Rights before realizing he has the wrong index card. He leaves the studio to search for the correct card and finds ""NYPD Blue"" stars Jimmy Smits and Dennis Franz reading the Top Ten List to a captured thug.

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    E32 Show #0471

    Oct 24, 1995

    Throughout the show, The ""Jimmy Letterman Singers"" sing ""Jimmy."" Later in the show, Dave concedes: ""It sucks, it stinks, it blows; it ain't working.""

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    E33 Show #0472

    Oct 25, 1995

    Throughout this year's World Series, kid reporter Sparky Mortimer has been making reports from the stadiums in Cleveland and Atlanta. Tonight, he lands a quick interview with Braves owner Ted Turner.

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    E34 Show #0473

    Oct 26, 1995

    During CBS Mailbag, Paul does a Johnny Carson impression. Later, Dave and Michael Rappaport lather up in order to use the CBS spa.

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    E35 Show #0474

    Oct 27, 1995

    Dave and Paul recruit a guy named Moe from a delicatessen, and the CBS Orchestra puts together a music video about him. Later, Sparky Mortimer runs the bases at Jacobs Field in Cleveland.

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    E36 Show #0475

    Oct 30, 1995

    Upon returning to NYC, Dave gives Sparky a pat on the back for a job well done; Casey Kasem introduces Wayne Hazeltine and the Pants Across America Tour; Carol Burnett takes off her skirt.

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    E37 Show #0476

    Oct 31, 1995

    A pumpkin launcher is demonstrated on 53rd Street, while The Pants Across America tour stops at St. Louis.

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    E38 Show #0477

    Nov 1, 1995

    Casey Kasem and the Pants Across America tour reports from Mount Rushmore, while up and coming actress Claire Danes introduces one of her favorite bands, UB40.

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    E39 Show #0478

    Nov 2, 1995

    Carol Channing harasses Dave during CBS Mailbag; the tour hits the Grand Canyon.

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    E40 Show #0479

    Nov 3, 1995

    Tonight on the ""Pants Across America"" tour, Casey Kasem is in Las Vegas, listening to an Elvis impersonator perform ""Burning Love.""

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    E41 Show #0480

    Nov 6, 1995

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    E42 Show #0481

    Nov 7, 1995

    Television City Studios, Day 2: Danny DeVito and Dave get into the stage pool and have a water fight. Meanwhile, Tony Mendez continues his cameo appearances on TV shows; tonight he's seen in clips from ""Friends"" and ""Grace Under Fire.""

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    E43 Show #0482

    Nov 8, 1995

    From Los Angeles: Alka Seltzer® is inserted into the backdrop pool; Demi Moore presents ""The Top Ten Least Popular Stripper Names;"" Green Day performs ""86.""

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    E44 Show #0483

    Nov 9, 1995

    Red Hot Chili Peppers – ""My Friends""

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    E45 Show #0484

    Nov 10, 1995

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    E46 Show #0485

    Nov 13, 1995

    Biff interrupts Dave's opening remarks and asks for water. Out runs NYC marathon winner German Silva with his drink. Later, Bill Murray cooks toast, and Silver runs by again to pick it up.

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    E47 Show #0486

    Nov 14, 1995

    Dave uses the speaker phone to get someone to bring him pizza. Later, thirty folks show up with boxes, and slices are handed out to the audience. Also, the United States is in the middle of a government shutdown, so Dave calls the Pentagon, misdials, finally gets an answering machine, and hangs up. A stagehand gives him an ax, cuts the phone cord, and hands the phone to an audience member.

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    E48 Show #0487

    Nov 15, 1995

    Elton John promotes and sings two songs from his latest album, ""Made In England.""

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    E49 Show #0488

    Nov 16, 1995

    An audience guy holds cue cards in place of Tony (he's sick), while Sean Penn promotes ""Dead Man Walking.""

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    E50 Show #0489

    Nov 17, 1995

    The Presidents of the United States of America perform their breakthrough hit, ""Toad.""

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    E51 Show #0490

    Nov 20, 1995

    Dave sends mailroom dude/budding diva Bob Borden to Washington as a White House correspondent.

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    E52 Show #0491

    Nov 21, 1995

    Dave asks folks on the street (including a poorly disguised Michael J. Fox) what they think of the federal budget crisis; Bob Borden makes his first report from DC.

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    E53 Show #0492

    Nov 22, 1995

    Amongst what's ""New for the Holidays"": Gingerbread Rats, Howard Stern's book ""Miss America"" read by James Earl Jones, and Kreskin guessing the weight of turkeys. Also, Bob Borden interrogates Larry King.

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    E54 Show #0493

    Nov 23, 1995

    Dave gives a turkey to a lady in the audience, then takes a turkey to the balcony with the help of a ladder; throughout the night, celebrities mention what they're thankful for; trapeze artists Helen Turkett and Luke Martin perform.

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    E55 Show #0494

    Nov 24, 1995

    ""Soup Nazi"" Ali ""Al"" Yeganeh passes out turkey chili to the audience.

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    E56 Show #0495

    Nov 27, 1995

    In a sign of future legal trouble, Microsoft owner and multibillionaire Bill Gates tries to fix the Late Show Quiz Machine after it gets stuck displaying the answer ""Windows '95"" in all three boxes. Also, Bob Borden tries with little success to deliver a turkey to President Clinton.

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    E57 Show #0496

    Nov 28, 1995

    Dave has Paul sit down on the guest chair because it's his birthday. Soon afterwards, the outside cam reveals Dave buying Paul a birthday present from a girl on the street.

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    E58 Show #0497

    Nov 29, 1995

    Cold Opening: Dave and Creepy Dave go mano a mano in the green room. Also, Dave demonstrates one of the ""Top Ten Changes Westinghouse is Planning for CBS Tonight"" -- he doodles the CBS logo on blank coffee mugs for tonight's guests.

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    E59 Show #0498

    Nov 30, 1995

    Steve Martin shows up a day early, and Dave can't get him offstage.

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    E60 Show #0499

    Dec 1, 1995

    After showing a clip from his new movie Father of the Bride, Part 2 on a 16mm film projector, Steve Martin and Dave appear in ""The Making of Steve Martin's Appearance Documentary.""

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    E61 Bob Hoskins, Martha Stewart, Al Green

    Dec 11, 1995

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    E62 Jean Claude Van Damme, Kirstin Dunst, Michael Bolton

    Dec 12, 1995

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    E63 Martin Short, Bev Tanner, The Dave Matthews Band

    Dec 13, 1995

    As a tribute to such beloved recurring segments such as ""The Man Under the Seats"" and ""The Fugitive Guy,"" Chris Elliott stars in a short-lived skit ""Cable Pulling Guy;"" Martin Short helps ""baking madwoman"" Bev Tanner make a cake.

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    E64 Harrison Ford, Bonnie Hunt, Bruce Springsteen

    Dec 14, 1995

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    E65 Greg Kinnear, Janeane Garofalo, White Zombie

    Dec 15, 1995

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    E66 Kathie Lee Gifford, Aaron Neville

    Dec 18, 1995

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    E67 Jack Lemmon, Natalie Merchant

    Dec 19, 1995

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    E68 Howard Stern, Melissa Etheridge

    Dec 20, 1995

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    E69 Geena Davis, Goo Goo Dolls

    Dec 21, 1995

    After a video montage of the annual eggnog drinking from increasingly larger bowls, Dave and a model hop into a gigantic bowl of the liquid, later joined by Biff and the Goo Goo Dolls.

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    E70 Rosie O'Donnell, Mike Judge, Darlene Love

    Dec 22, 1995

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    E71 Stupid Human Tricks, Julianna Marguiles, Del Amitri

    Dec 26, 1995

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    E72 Mandy Patinkin, Terry Gilliam

    Dec 27, 1995

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    E73 Robin Williams, Lauren Hutton, Chris Isaak

    Dec 28, 1995

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    E74 Susan Sarandon, Drew Carey

    Dec 29, 1995

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    E75 Lisa Kudrow, Art Donovan, Blues Traveler

    Jan 2, 1996

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    E76 Chevy Chase, Marv Albert, Bruce Hornsby

    Jan 3, 1996

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    E77 Tom Brokaw, Greg Fitzsimmons, Faith Hill

    Jan 4, 1996

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    E78 Denis Leary, Bridget Hall, Toad the Wet Sprocket

    Jan 5, 1996

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    E79 Sam Neill, Itzhak Perlman

    Jan 8, 1996

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    E80 Pauly Shore, Ashley Judd

    Jan 9, 1996

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    E81 Sandra Bullock, Marlon Wayans, Laurence Tai

    Jan 10, 1996

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    E82 Jason Alexander, Elisabeth Shue

    Jan 11, 1996

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    E83 Tim Robbins, Justin Wilson, Martina McBride, Norm MacDonald

    Jan 12, 1996

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    E84 David Brenner, B.B. King

    Jan 22, 1996

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    E85 Mia Farrow, Martin Scorcese, Brandy

    Jan 23, 1996

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    E86 Don Rickles, Mary Stuart Masterson, Joe Ely & Todd Snider

    Jan 24, 1996

    CBS President Les Moonves (bogus) takes a moment to comment on Clinton's State of the Union address by singing ""Holding Out for a Hero."" Also, pre-teen sports reporter Sparky Mortimer returns to the show and is given a new assignment- to cover Super Bowl XXX.

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    E87 Matt Dillon, Reggie Miller, Pam Tillis

    Jan 25, 1996

    Sparky Mortimer makes another amusing -- albeit clumsy -- Super Bowl report; Dave chats with basketball star Reggie Miller.

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    E88 Conan O'Brian, Mira Sorvino, Seven Mary Three

    Jan 26, 1996

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    E89 Richard Simmons, Christine Lahti, Nanci Griffith & the Crickets

    Jan 29, 1996

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    E90 Jay Thomas, Larry Miller

    Jan 30, 1996

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    E91 Elle MacPherson, David Spade, D'Angelo

    Jan 31, 1996

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    E92 Alec Baldwin, Dwight Yoakam, Natalie Portman

    Feb 1, 1996

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    E93 Cybill Sheperd, Al Franken, Sati Achath

    Feb 2, 1996

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    E94 Jack Hanna, Tammy Faye Messner, Aimee Mann

    Feb 5, 1996

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    E95 Joan Collins, Robert Downey Jr., Jean Louisa Kelly

    Feb 6, 1996

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    E96 Chuck Norris, Samantha Mathis

    Feb 7, 1996

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    E97 Stupid Pet Tricks, Ray Liotta, Soul Asylum

    Feb 8, 1996

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    E98 Uma Thurman, Norm MacDonald, Ramones

    Feb 9, 1996

    Dave offers Liz Taylor a riding mower if she'll come on the show; clips from the HBO movie The Late Shift, which Dave calls ""satire;"" The Ramones perform ""She Talks to Rainbows.""

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    E99 Chris Farley, Gin Blossoms, Joe & Mary Graziano

    Feb 12, 1996

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    E100 Adam Sandler, Jackie Chan, Red Hot Chili Peppers

    Feb 13, 1996

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    E101 Siskel & Ebert, Neil Diamond, Brandy (the dog)

    Feb 14, 1996

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    E102 Tom Arnold, Joan Allen, Lenny Kravitz

    Feb 15, 1996

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    E103 Teri Hatcher, Jon Stewart

    Feb 16, 1996

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    E104 Kathie Lee Gifford, Gillian Anderson, Cecilia Bartoli

    Feb 19, 1996

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    E105 Julia Roberts, James Brown

    Feb 20, 1996

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    E106 Larry King, Wynonna

    Feb 21, 1996

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    E107 Joan Lunden, Cheri Oteri, Lou Reed

    Feb 22, 1996

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    E108 Kid Inventors, Sherry Stringfield, Don Henley

    Feb 23, 1996

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    E109 Fran Drescher, Shania Twain, George Miller

    Feb 26, 1996

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    E110 Dennis Hopper, Dave Chapelle, Pete Droge

    Feb 27, 1996

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    E111 Susan Sarandon, Rob Schneider, Mike Dahm

    Feb 28, 1996

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    E112 Kelsey Grammer, Victoria Abril, Allman Brothers

    Feb 29, 1996

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    E113 Robin Williams, Patsy Kensit, Spacehog

    Mar 1, 1996

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    E114 Sarah Jessica Parker, Treat Williams, Cowboy Junkies

    Mar 4, 1996

    In mock tribute to HBO's ""The Late Shift,"" Dave throws baseballs at an archery target.

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    E115 Nathan Lane, Steven Wright, Jann Arden

    Mar 5, 1996

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    E116 Stupid Human Tricks, Mira Sorvino, k.d. Lang

    Mar 6, 1996

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    E117 Dan Rather, Bonnie Hunt, The Tony Rich Project

    Mar 7, 1996

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    E118 Dana Carvey, Riverdance

    Mar 8, 1996

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    E119 Ricki Lake, William Shatner, Ray Romano

    Mar 18, 1996

    Dave mentions that in between show tapings, an audience guy named Anthony sang ""My Way"" from the balcony. During the taping of this episode, however, Dave invites him to sing it onstage. Also, Dave goes over to Black Rock Bar & Grill to swipe a beverage from Dan Rather.

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    E120 Mandy Patinkin, Tea Leoni, Collective Soul

    Mar 19, 1996

    Dave stoically mentions that this will be the last night for the current set, and that it will be remodeled during the NCAA Tournament coverage. To commemorate this, at the end of the show, a couple dozen audience members file by the desk to touch Dave.

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    E121 Barbara Walters, Halle Berry, Ray Charles

    Mar 20, 1996

    As the Ed Sullivan Theater is being renovated, Dave hosts his show from the lobby with only 60 folding chairs set up for the audience. Fire Commissioner Howard Safir oversees the proceedings, while guests Barbara Walters and Halle Berry make their entrances through the theater debris. Dave tells Ray Charles, ""I don't know how to break it to you, but you're in the lobby."" Also, a man-on-the-street segment finds that most New Yorkers are apathetic towards the new set.

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    E122 Phil Hartman, Rose Hamburger, The Band

    Mar 26, 1996

    After a week of construction, the show's new ""Bridge"" set is unveiled. Dave quickly mentions that he ordered it from a catalog. Martha Stewart honors the occasion by hammering in the last nail. Later, she's seen sanding backstage and, still later, operating a blowtorch.

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    E123 George Foreman, Naomi Campbell, Tim McGraw

    Mar 27, 1996

    Dave has an extra joke in the monologue, so he and Tony take it over to Conan O'Brien at NBC. Meanwhile, George Foreman breaks a pinata at Hello Deli, in celebration of the unveiling of Rupert's new ""set.""

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    E124 Don Johnson, Michelle Kwan, No Doubt

    Mar 28, 1996

    Mailbag: Dave goes over to Yankee Stadium and steals home plate. Also, Dave chats with ""Cliff Sussman"" (Jay Johnson), the president of the New Set Fan Club, and No Doubt performs ""Spiderwebs.""

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    E125 Nick Turturro, Jenny McCarthy, Stone Temple Pilots

    Mar 29, 1996

    Dana Carvey drops by and receives a piece of the set; The Usual Suspects star Kevin Spacey presents the Top Ten live via satellite; Alan Kalter stars in the new midseason replacement sitcom ""Weird Guy in an Elevator.""

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    E126 Mary Tyler Moore, Anna Paquin, Mark Knopfler

    Apr 1, 1996

    Dave tricks young Oscar® winner Anna Paquin into getting in a magician's box, claiming he was going to show her a trick. Once he had her locked in, he took off her shoes and tickled her feet!Also, Dave challenges Millionaire Basketball Winner Tom Gates: if he makes his shot onstage, Dave will give him $10,000; if he doesn't, he has to host the show. He misses. So does a very un-athletic Mary Tyler Moore. But Paquin hits, and Dave gives her the $10,000 cash.

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    E127 Bill Cosby, Anfernee Hardaway, Ray Wold

    Apr 2, 1996

    After Dave promises that the Quiz Machine will never be seen on the show again, he brings out the ""Flagstar 3000,"" a cheap cardboard facade.

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    E128 Elle MacPherson, Hank Azaria, Cassandra Wilson

    Apr 3, 1996

    Anna Paquin returns to the show two days after the basketball challenge and donates her cash prize to charity. Also, Dave temporarily moves his show to public access, and Laurie Diamond persuades him to return to CBS.

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    E129 Bill Maher, Michael Lomanaco, Jackson Browne

    Apr 4, 1996

    CBS Mailbag: the Quiz Machine is destroyed (at last!) by a cab, while Tony Randall hides under Dave's desk to protect himself from the government.

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    E130 David Hyde Pierce, Scott Thompson, Pulp

    Apr 5, 1996

    Dave shows a clip of Marshall Sylver's infomercial, and throughout the night Dave attempts to hypnotize members of the staff. After Dave accidentally puts Biff in a daze, he calls up Sylver to figure out what to do with his entranced stage manager.

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    E131 Robert Duvall, Amy Brenneman, Tori Amos

    Apr 8, 1996

    After miraculously surviving its attempted demise the previous week, the Quiz Machine is finally destroyed once and for all. Also, ten ballerinas present the Top Ten.

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    E132 Tony Danza, Lucy Lawless, R. Kelly

    Apr 9, 1996

    Dave begins a new contest: The town that sends the most valuable gifts will be the new Top Ten Home Office. Two huge glass tanks are displayed onstage, each for the two towns in competition. Tonight, Wahoo, Nebraska (the challenger) sends enchiladas, while Grand Rapids (the incumbent) sends a fax from the Governor of Michigan. Not a good start for Grand Rapids. Also, the outside cam visits Sullivan's Bar & Grill next door, and their bartender comes in the theater to pose for a Polaroid picture.

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    E133 Dan Aykroyd, Louis C.K., Sting

    Apr 10, 1996

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    E134 Luciano Pavarotti & Michael Bolton, David Schwimmer, Cynthia Rowley

    Apr 11, 1996

    The Home Office Competition continues: Added to Wahoo's tank is a pizza, a T-shirt, and a birdhouse, while Grand Rapids adds a garment bag; Dave shows another episode of Alan Kalter's mini-sitcom ""Weird Guy in an Elevator""; Luciano Pavarotti and Michael Bolton sing ""Nessun Dorma.""

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    E135 Tom Brokaw, Blue, Rosanne Cash

    Apr 12, 1996

    Dave appears on the Times Square Jumbotron demanding presents; Dave and Fred Nigro go to Jersey to help with taxes, during which Dave recruits a citizen to stand in for him during an audit; Dave plugs his mother's recently-published cookbook.

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    E136 Joan Lunden, Nick Faldo, Jewel

    Apr 22, 1996

    An audience member assists in the debut of the Slatstar 2000, while Brett Butler presents the Top Ten.

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    E137 Mia Farrow, Janeane Garofalo, Hootie & the Blowfish

    Apr 23, 1996

    Mia Farrow reveals that she's addicted to the internet. Carly Simon drops by in mid-interview, and later, both sit in with the CBS Orchestra, with Mia on tambourine and Carly on cowbell.

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    E138 Samuel Jackson, Jeff Altman, Los Lobos

    Apr 24, 1996

    Dave holds an impromptu auction, while Marshall Sylver hypnotizes more Late Show staffers.

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    E139 Kids Telling Jokes, Chazz Palminteri, Celine Dion

    Apr 25, 1996

    Wahoo vs. Grand Rapids, Day 9: Wahoo sends two kids, Jeff and Josh Price, to sit in their glass tank. Grand Rapids loses further ground by sending several non-living items. Also, Alan does various random things throughout the night, including reading his turkey pot pie recipe, speaking in a bad French accent, ripping his shirt open, and holding his breath through a commercial break.

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    E140 Dana Carvey, Robin Quivers, Afghan Wigs

    Apr 26, 1996

    In honor of the recent Sotheby's Auction that featured items once owned by John F. Kennedy, Biff comes stage on Jackie O's (alleged) riding lawnmower; in a pre-taped segment, Dave interviews CBS job applicants, during which he pressures college sophomore Todd Stevens to sing; Nathan Lane appears to show Todd how it's done; Dave leaves the show to have some coffee with a guy named Kenny.

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    E141 Regis Philbin, Dave's Mom, Peter Berg

    Apr 29, 1996

    Dorothy drops by to promote the cookbook that Dave's been plugging for the last two weeks, and she cooks him his favorite sandwich.

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    E142 Barbara Walters, Anthony Clark, Van Morrison

    Apr 30, 1996

    At the end of the monologue, a guy dressed up as an Olympic runner bolts across the stage, and later he paces around the backdrop. Also, comedian Anthony Clark promotes his new sitcom Boston Common.

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    E143 Jeff Goldblum, James Carville, Brooks & Dunn

    May 1, 1996

    Tonight's ""What's On Other Channels"" segment includes ""Condom Testing,"" ""The Mexican Navy's New Battleship,"" and ""Tommy Lee-Pamela Anderson Video.""

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    E144 John Malkovich, Jake Johannsen, Pete Townshend

    May 2, 1996

    Pat Farmer interrupts the monologue by walking in front of the camera; Marv Albert provides color commentary on tonight's CBS Mailbag; two guys spray each other with fuel at a gas station in Queens.

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    E145 Rosie O'Donnell, Gwyneth Paltrow, Everclear

    May 3, 1996

    The Home Office Contest is over: Wahoo is now the official home office of the Top Ten List, decimating Grand Rapids from the get-go. Also, Everclear performs ""Heartspark Dollarsign.""

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    E146 Tom Hanks, Steve Young

    May 6, 1996

    The Late Show begins a week in San Francisco as Mayor Willie Brown interrupts the show throughout the hour by offering Dave the key to the city, a loaf of sourdough bread, and a stick he found in his yard. Also, Paul composes a music video for cable car operator Luis ""Guido"" Montano, with cameos by Los Lobos, Carly Simon, Hootie & the Blowfish and Celine Dion.

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    E147 Paul Reiser, Jane Seymour, Keanu Reeves & Dogstar

    May 7, 1996

    Frisco, Day 2: Dave gives a bouquet to a 95-year-old lady in the audience; Dave and football great Joe Montana tour the city, where they end up getting ""friendly"" in Alcatraz; Dave checks on the theater in NYC, and finds Clint Eastwood imitating Dave at his desk.

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    E148 Stupid Pet Tricks, Dean Cain, Elvis Costello

    May 8, 1996

    Frisco, Day 3: Sheila E. and Pete Escovido sit in; Dave shows off the 49ers shower curtain he has in the dressing room; Dave orders Rupert to harass people on the street; Dave invites a shaggy-looking guy in the audience (a professor at Stanford, no less) to take a shower during the show.

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    E149 Eddie Murphy, Paul Doherty, Green Day

    May 9, 1996

    From San Francisco: Three audience members receive free hams and souvenir cue cards; Joe Satriani sits in; Dave tells the seals at Fisherman's Wharf to shut up; the San Francisco Giants present the Top Ten; basketballs and melons are rolled down Fillburn Street, the steepest in the city.

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    E150 Don Johnson, Jeremiah Tower, Alice in Chains

    May 10, 1996

    Frisco, Day 5: The Alcatraz mock-up in the backdrop is subject to a jailbreak; Dave hangs out with a local hippie, thus introducing the world (not to mention fleeting fame) to one Manny Papp; Dave loses a blue card, and then finds it inside a crab at Fisherman's Wharf; Manny meets his hero, John Popper of Blues Traveler.

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    E151 Anjelica Huston, Paul Hogan, Natalie Merchant

    May 13, 1996

    Dave quizzes the audience on his week in San Francisco, during which Gene Siskel runs onstage looking for Roger Ebert. Later in the show, he gives up on his search, then relaunches his film review program as ""Siskel and DeForest."" Also, Natalie Merchant sings ""Jealousy.""

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    E152 Jon Stewart, Kirstin Dunst, Dog's Eye View

    May 14, 1996

    Manny the Hippie gives his first live remote from San Francisco, as Dave asks him to give periodic reviews on current movies. Tonight, he reviews Twister, which he personally didn't care for.

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    E153 Jeff Foxworthy, Flyball Dogs, Joan Osborne

    May 15, 1996

    Junior Brown sits in, and Dave tries on his very unique hat. Also, a guy dressed up as Ronald McDonald gives Dave the Top Ten, and later he is found lying dead in the street.

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    E154 Walter Cronkite, Harry Hill, Spin Doctors

    May 16, 1996

    During Mailbag, Tony sits in for Dave while Dave sits in for Alan saying ""letter number two,"" which leads into a question about lawn care; comedian Harry Hill tells jokes about Cher, The A-Team, and his grandmother's funeral; Spin Doctors perform ""She Used to Be Mine.""

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    E155 Helen Hunt, Dave Matthews Band

    May 17, 1996

    For no apparent reason, Dave orders Tony to take a taxi; Manny the Hippie presents the Top Ten; a dentist checks out a weird whistling noise coming out of Dave's mouth when he speaks.

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    E156 Fran Drescher, Brian Regan, Joan Jett

    May 20, 1996

    Two audience guys go outside to monitor the temperature, and given their meteorological expertise, are ordered to stand next to a giant thermometer.

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    E157 John Goodman, Norm MacDonald, Patty Loveless

    May 21, 1996

    It's time for a new game called ""May We Turn Your Pants into Shorts?"" Dave is the first to mutilate his slacks, and is followed by Paul, Biff, John Goodman, and Norm MacDonald, who was already wearing shorts.

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    E158 Stupid Human Tricks, Brett Butler, Al Green

    May 22, 1996

    Dave shows a clip of his favorite moment from last night's show: Biff doing a quadruple take upon seeing Dave's slacks getting cut at the knee; Dave's contact lens fall out, so he wears his glasses for half the show; Brett Butler performs a Stupid Human Trick.

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    E159 Leslie Nielsen, Daphne Zuniga, Bring in Da Funk

    May 23, 1996

    Dave's jacket is stain by coffee, so he throws it into the balcony; an ""unknown guest"" crashes the show; Leslie Nielsen promotes Spy Hard.

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    E160 Kid Inventors, Dennis Quaid, Seven Mary Three

    May 24, 1996

    Dave and Conan O'Brien get ""Bob Dole Is Old"" jokes from the joke storeroom in the basement of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Also, Dave invites several staffers (including then-intern Stephanie Birkett) to discuss their dreams at a local steakhouse.

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    E161 Martin Short, Jimmy Vassar, Bryan Adams

    Jun 3, 1996

    Live via satellite in San Francisco, Manny the Hippie reviews the film ""Spy Hard"": ""It's schwiggity schwag!"" Also, ""She Loves Me"" week begins with Martin Short, who performs this song, hanging on to the last note while leaving the theater, grabbing a soda at the Hello Deli, getting a massage, and returning to the theater wearing a terrycloth robe.

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    E162 Nathan Lane, Daisy Fuentes, Mitch Fantel

    Jun 4, 1996

    Dave invites customers from the Roy Rogers restaurant across the street into the theater to be checked for ticks; Dr. Sam Merrick declares them tick-free. Also, Day 2 of ""She Loves Me,"" tonight performed by Nathan Lane. Like Martin Short the previous night, Nate holds the last note, goes out to Hello Deli for a soda, then to a massage, and back inside the theater with a robe.

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    E163 Diana Ross, George Wallace

    Jun 5, 1996

    Diana Ross performs a variation of the song ""She Loves Me"" called ""He Loves Me,"" and while holding the final note, buys a soda at Hello Deli, gets a massage at a nearby spa, and walks back inside the theater wearing a white robe.

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    E164 Matthew Broderick, Kim Delaney, Rent

    Jun 6, 1996

    Dave tells a mean fat joke about Roger Ebert, and shortly afterwards the film critic calls Dave a bastard; four singers present the First Annual Late Show Salute to the Word ""Ass""; on Day 4 of ""She Loves Me"" week, Matthew Broderick performs a certain 1950's pop standard, holds the last note, runs through the theater, grabs a soda at the Hello Deli, gets a handbill for a free massage, receives the massage, and returns to the theater wearing a robe, still holding the note.

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    E165 Rosie O'Donnell, Heather Matarazzo, Cracker

    Jun 7, 1996

    The final day of celebrity ""She Loves Me"" performances takes place when Rosie O'Donnell sings, holds the last note, runs through the theater, grabs a soda at Hello Deli, gets a handbill for a free massage, receives the massage, and returns to the theater wearing a robe, still holding the same note. Dave follows this flawless presentation with a week-long retrospective.

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    E166 Siskel & Ebert, Andrew Shue, Dana Gould

    Jun 10, 1996

    Biff attempts to learn how to fly; actor/soccer fanatic Andrew Shue introduces footage of him, Elizabeth Shue, and John Shue playing a pick-up game of his sport of choice.

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    E167 Dennis Franz, Joe Queenan, Gloria Estefan

    Jun 11, 1996

    In a piece of videotape footage that ""will disturb and shock you,"" Dave introduces clips of Bill Clinton singing ""Mustang Sally"" and Boris Yeltsin dancing.

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    E168 Ben Stiller, Liv Tyler, Douglas Rodriguez

    Jun 12, 1996

    Dave fools around with a hot glue gun, while up-and-coming actress Liv Tyler (daughter of Bebe Buell and Steven Tyler) promotes Stealing Beauty.

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    E169 Danny Glover, Bobby Maley, Joey Kola

    Jun 13, 1996

    Kenny Wayne Shepherd sits in; Dave points out that one of tonight's ""CBS Mailbag"" letter-writers is in the audience; during Mailbag, ""Ronald McDonald"" (Leonard) verbally abuses Dave.

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    E170 Kelsey Grammer, Amber Valletta, Ozzy Osborne

    Jun 14, 1996

    Dave bids farewell to one of his longtime staffers; Kelsey Grammer promotes ""Down Periscope""; Manny reviews The Cable Guy: ""Dank.""

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    E171 Vanessa Williams, Jonathan Silverman, Lucile Treganowan

    Jun 17, 1996

    Remote: Dave works the drive-thru at a Taco Bell in Jersey. Later, he chats with Lucille Treganowan, 66-year-old grandmother/hot rod guru. (correct synopsis)

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    E172 Sarah Jessica Parker, Marv Albert, Lyle Lovett

    Jun 18, 1996

    Some guy carrying the Olympic torch comes through to interrupt the monologue. Also, Dave recalls a fake Father's Day memory when his son ""Jimmy"" gave him an ashtray. Paul doubts the story, forcing Dave to recall his ""real"" video memory: ""Jimmy"" arriving with pizza. (correct synopsis)

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    E173 James Caan, Julie White, Patti Smith

    Jun 19, 1996

    Biff recruits an audience member to get splashed in the face by a speeding taxi going over a puddle. Also, CBS head honcho ""Les Moonves"" discusses the CBS fall lineup, then sings Harry Chapin's ""Cat in the Cradle.""

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    E174 Pauly Shore, Gena Lee Nolin, Vince Gill

    Jun 20, 1996

    In response to a CBS Mailbag letter that noticed a likeness between Inky Mendez and Steven Speilberg, Martin Scorsese is seen impersonating Anton Fig.

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    E175 John Travolta, John Sayles, The Presidents of the United States of America

    Jun 21, 1996

    Dave shows off a tick that has embedded itself into his suit, then shows more footage of him at Taco Bell. (correct synopsis)

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    E176 Conan O'Brian, Eleanor Mondale, Blues Traveler

    Jun 24, 1996

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    E177 Bruce Willis, Christine Wilson, Jimmy Buffet

    Jun 25, 1996

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    E178 Jerry Van Dyke, Luke Perry, Fugees

    Jun 26, 1996

    Jerry Van Dyke rides onstage on a mule; Luke Perry gives Dave his sideburns; The Fugees perform ""Fu-Gee-La.""

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    E179 Cher, Shaquille O'Neal

    Jun 27, 1996

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    E180 Michael Keaton, Ving Rhames, Goo Goo Dolls

    Jun 28, 1996

    Manny the Hippie reviews Striptease: ""Schwag."" Also, Creepy Dave drops by to ask Michael Keaton about human cloning.

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    E181 Harry Connick, Jr., Josie Bisset

    Jul 1, 1996

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    E182 Will Smith, Demi Moore

    Jul 2, 1996

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    E183 Jeff Goldblum, Jonathan Katz, George Clinton & the P-Funk All-Stars

    Jul 3, 1996

    Dave airs his first new July 3rd show since his morning show in 1980. During the ""Rejected FDA Products"" segment, Dave introduces ""Sherwin-Williams Fettucine in Paint."" Later, Jeff Goldblum promotes ""Independence Day"" as Rupert searches the sky for UFOs.

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    E184 Kids Tell Jokes, Dan O'Brian, Brian Setzer Orchestra

    Jul 4, 1996

    Mujibur and Sirajul stand on the roof, waiting for the fireworks in broad daylight; during Mailbag, ""Neil Diamond"" (Calvert) rouses the crowd with a smokin' rendition of ""America;"" two audience members take an American flag to the Empire State Building; The Brian Setzer Orchestra performs ""Town Without Pity.""

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    E185 Randy Quaid, Sheryl Swoopes, The Cure

    Jul 5, 1996

    Dave switches places with an audience woman, and later she sits in with the band; Elaine Stritch storms onstage and chews out Dave; Randy Quaid promotes Independence Day.

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    E186 Scottie Pippen, Prince, George Miller

    Jul 8, 1996

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    E187 Bill Pullman, JoAnn Ussery, Willie Nelson

    Jul 9, 1996

    Dave points out that Paul is the co-musical director for the Olympic closing ceremonies; Biff keeps interrupting Dave; Dave chats with Joanne Ussery, a woman who lives in a renovated Boeing 727.

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    E188 Jack Hanna, Brent Spiner, Charlie Watts

    Jul 10, 1996

    Manny the Hippie talks about his trip to Roswell, New Mexico, while The Charlie Watts Quintet (featuring Bernard Fowler) performs ""In a Sentimental Mood.""

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    E189 Meg Ryan, Shaolin Monks, Garbage

    Jul 11, 1996

    Dave shows a semi-embarrassing clip of Meg Ryan from her days on ""As The World Turns,"" featuring a ""young"" Paul Shaffer and Will Lee.

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    E190 Bill Murray, MaliVai Washington, Wallflowers

    Jul 12, 1996

    Dave tries to find the owner of car whose license plates read ""SO HAPPY,"" and later he shows footage of a Wheel of Fortune contestant screwing up the answer to a puzzle: ""Paul Shatner!""

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    E191 Margaret Colin, Lou Diamond Phillips, Wali Collins

    Jul 15, 1996

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    E192 Laurence Fishburne, Lea Thompson, Me'Shell Ndegeocello

    Jul 16, 1996

    Dave continues to gloat over the Late Show's (alleged) title as Official Talk Show of the Summer Olympics, with abortive sports commentary by Anton; Laurence Fishburne promotes Fled.

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    E193 Michael J. Fox, Shelly Moquin, Travis Tritt & Marty Stuart

    Jul 17, 1996

    Country legend Marty Stuart sits in, while a disgruntled alien (Gerard) comments on inaccuracies in the movie Independence Day.

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    E194 Andie MacDowell, Bob Woodward, Paul Westerberg

    Jul 18, 1996

    Dave discusses in length the show's embarrassment of Emmy riches this year (four nominations); the ""CBS Mailbag"" presents Dave's 10,000th ""Bob Dole is old"" joke; Dave receives another discouraging visit from Fan Club president ""Cliff Sussman"" (Jay Johnson).

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    E195 David Duchovny, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Sponge

    Jul 19, 1996

    Leonard ""The Ronald McDonald Guy"" Tepper joins Rupert for another one of his hidden-mike remotes with Dave. Later, Jackie Joyner-Kersee promotes her new fitness book and upcoming appearance at the Atlanta Games.

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    E196 Danny DeVito, Amy VanDyken, Hootie & the Blowfish

    Aug 5, 1996

    Dave welcomes the Gold Medal-winning U.S. Olympic Girl's Gymnastics Team (minus the injured Kerri Strug); during a ""New Products"" segment, Pat Farmer models a t-shirt made from venetian blinds.

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    E197 Rhea Perlman, Dot Richardson, Reggie McFadden

    Aug 6, 1996

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    E198 Michael Johnson, Tom Arnold, Tracy Chapman

    Aug 7, 1996

    Dave announces that the Late Show has its own version of ""The Real World,"" with Paul, Anton and Pat Farmer whining about their personal problems.

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    E199 Dennis Miller, Mia Hamm, Butthole Surfers

    Aug 8, 1996

    During ""CBS Mailbag,"" Secret Service Agents dance the Macarena; Dennis Miller promotes his new HBO talk show; Butthole Surfers perform ""Pepper.""

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    E200 Dennis Hopper, Cheech Marin, Sex Pistols

    Aug 9, 1996

    Dave brings up three girls from the audience, confiscates their gum, and sends them out to goof off in a nearby fountain; the Sex Pistols perform ""Pretty Vacant.""

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    E201 Richard Simmons, Jerry O'Connell, Lionel Richie

    Aug 12, 1996

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    E202 Kevin Pollak, Diane Lane, Randy Travis

    Aug 13, 1996

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    E203 Ellen Barkin, Jackie Chan, Patti Rothberg

    Aug 14, 1996

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    E204 Dwight Gooden, Tom Selleck, George Jones

    Aug 15, 1996

    Dave chats with Yankees pitcher Dwight ""Doc"" Gooden, who threw a no-hitter the night before.

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    E205 Mike Wallace, Tom Dolan, Dave Attell

    Aug 16, 1996

    Dave gives a ham to a man in the audience who correctly guessed his weight (158 lbs).

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    E206 Marilu Henner, Alex Rodriguez, J.R. Havlen

    Aug 19, 1996

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    E207 Dennis Rodman, Susan Molinari, Neville Brothers

    Aug 20, 1996

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    E208 Angie Everhart, Mario Van Peebles, Beach Boys

    Aug 21, 1996

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    E209 James Carville, Ed Burns, Melissa Etheridge

    Aug 22, 1996

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    E210 Nathan Lane, Mara Wilson

    Aug 23, 1996

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